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 Hartman, Sandra L.
Died: 06/14/2015
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Hartman, Sandra L.

Hartman, Sandra L. (Begraft) age 68 of Mt. Arlington, NJ died Sunday June 14, 2015 at the St. Clare’s Hospital Dover Campus. Born in Dover, NJ she had resided in Cape May and Freehold, NJ and has lived in Mt. Arlington most of her life.

Daughter of the late Robert Begraft, and Helen (Smith) Muller, she was raised, loved and cherished by her maternal grandmother the late Anna Smith who died at the age of 100 in 2010.  Sandra was a loving and devoted homemaker and a member of the St. Peter Episcopal Church Mt. Arlington, NJ. Mrs. Hartman ran the concession stand at the Mt. Arlington Beach for several years, she also was the owner operator of the Wharton Beauty Supply and Hair Salon for four years. She was also the owner and operator of the Country Bumpkin Craft Shoppe Freehold, NJ for eight years as well as the owner operator of LeeAnna’s Victorian Gift Shoppe Cape May and Chester, NJ.

Sandra loved baking and cooking, her specialty was cheesecakes and pasties. She sold her bakeware’s under the label of Sandy’s Kitchen Mt. Arlington.      

          Survivors include her husband Ernest G., her daughters Kim A. O’Connor of Moorestown, NJ, Merriha L. Hartman of Mt. Arlington and Jennet M. Landrum and her husband William of Mt. Arlington.  Also surviving are her mother Helen Muller of Paradise, CA, her sisters Helena Begraft of Mt. Arlington, Roberta VanJaarsveld of Wantage Twp., Vickie Franklin of Chico, CA and Kathy Lyles of Paradise, CA. as well as her five grandchildren and one great grandson.

          Funeral services will be held Friday June 19, 2015 at 10:30 AM in the Smith-Taylor-Ruggiero Funeral Home One Baker Avenue (Route 46) Dover, NJ 07801. Interment will follow in the Sparta Cemetery Sparta, NJ. Visitation will be at the funeral home Thursday June 18th from 3-5 and 7-9 PM. 
 
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Here are some special memories shared by family and friends.
You will always be in our hearts and in our memories.
John & Monika Smith
merriah & jennet sorry for the loss of your mom ,god bless your family.
robert stone
So sorry for your loss. Howard/RHS Class of 1965
Howard Ensel
Ernie & Family, Our heartfelt sympathy in your loss of Sandy. God bless you all.
Robert & Karen Hallman
Sorry to hear about Sandy my thoughts and prayers goes out the family.
Helen Quick Stevens
A few weeks before Mom passed on, she repeatedly told us ‚??remember where I came from‚??. She was referring to her Grandmother Anna Smith and her father Bob Begraft. She wasn‚??t focusing on the abuse, abandonment and heartaches of her past. Instead she was remembering those that protected her and brought her the most love and joy. She spoke of my father and how god had blessed her when he entered her life. She said she prayed that my sisters and I would find someone like him to spend our lives with. She begged us to take care of my Dad. During one of Mom‚??s hospital stays I recorded her singing a song to me. It was "I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms again". It was heart achingly beautiful. My mother was opinionated, loyal and protective. As a little girl, she was told to watch over her sisters. She has never stopped watching over them and I believe she will continue to do so. She was not always easy to get along with when you had a different point of view and she would gladly tell you why you were wrong. She loved fiercely. And when she disapproved, it was intensely. When she was upset with you, you knew it and the neighbors down the street knew it. But when she was happy with you‚?¶ You felt the pure profound love she had for her children. When I was a few weeks old I suffocated and it changed our lives forever. From that moment on she didn‚??t let me out of her sight. She was so incredibly protective. I thought it would change, as I got older. It didn‚??t. When I was in 5th grade, Mom didn‚??t like how my teacher was treating me. She didn‚??t call the school to make an appointment to discuss the matter‚?¶. Instead she marched into the classroom and called the teacher out on her behavior in front of the entire class. At my wedding, when the priest asked who gives this woman away in marriage, Mom said ‚??not me. I‚??m not letting her go!‚?? When I wanted to buy a house of my own my mom simply said ‚??No! You‚??re not leaving us‚??. She told me I was supposed to take care of her and Dad. I have spent my entire life at my mom‚??s side. Mom, How I wish I could throw your words back at you today and tell you No! I‚??m not letting you go, You‚??re not leaving. You‚??re supposed to take care of us. Know that I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms again. I love you Mom
Jenny
dDear family at 961\2 my heart is heavy to cary beareaveament but you are there, With love
Michael & Olga Sharon
Erine,Nub,Jen,Kimmi and family... I am so lost as i know you all are. I just want to pick up the phone and hear her voice once again. She was so special in so many ways, but for me she was my "Big Sister" and i will hold her in my heart forever. She will be missed by so many. And all of us will be lost without her there to keep us all on track.I know she will be watching over us all.I miss her oh so much...I love you Sandra. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.. With all my love always and forever...Vickie
Vickie Franklin
"The only measure of your words and deeds will be the love left behind when you're gone."                  -Fred Small Who knew when I saved the quote above that my life would have so many different connections with it and how those words would resonate often in such a short span of time.  These reflections, now, particularly have a lot to do with a very special person that I was blessed to have in my life... My Aunt Sandy; but she wasn't just an Aunt and it feels so weird to refer to her as just, "Aunt Sandy".  I never called her Sandra, but I feel compelled to call her that now, but it still doesn't sound right or good enough because she was so much more than a person's name or title could ever relay. She held many titles, daughter, wife, mom, grandma "honey", sister, aunt, caregiver, friend, life coach, teacher, chef/baker, gardener, hostess,  adviser, artist, director of sales, entrepreneur, project manager, beauty consultant, amongst many other positions she held. The one role most might not recognize, which has had the most positive impacts on so many is being a teacher.  She taught many things, especially regarding art, but I'm talking about a different type of teaching.  An education in love, life, support, sacrifice, pain, and healing. I was told a large portion of my Aunt Sandra's story about a year and a half ago from her.  For most of my life I hadn't known the struggles and damages Aunt Sandy had endured during her childhood into her adulthood. The biggest lesson I learned was on that day.  Suffering can move mountains. A child that endured many varied traumatic experiences, took the pain and sacrifice and turned it into love.  She prevailed. I will always credit Aunt Sandy and Uncle Ernie for educating me on being a responsible, honest, protective, loving, and giving person and parent.  I credit them for many of the areas I'm most proud of in regards to my parenting.  Aunt Sandy and Uncle Ernie taught me the importance of showing love and respect and family devotion.  Showing, saying, and committing acts of respect and love.  I learned to hug and kiss my children, tell them I love them, and to talk and inquire about their lives, thoughts, and opinions. I learned how important these things are, their effects on us from birth and throughout our lives. I learned that debate and conflicts were best handled through family discussion after the daily family dinner.  I also learned about chores, hard work,  working together, teaching and learning from each other. Aunt Sandra seemed to be lucky in the way of being the "odd man out" from her traumas and abusive family members.  She was the only one who could possibly pull off the feats she had considering the traumas she's endured in her life.  Most of our family members consisted of parents who weren't the hugging/kissing, I love you type of parents.  They weren't bad parents because of this; that's how they were raised and weren't capable of change. Surviving through all the turmoil she was able to provide and show love to all who were lucky to love her and be a part of her life.  She didn't want one single person to have to go without, feel left out, feel unloved, or go through what she had.   So, she would show and teach them love. Of all the people, I'm sure a lot of them would've never guessed the one they bullied and abused the most, would be the one who would show and teach "us"-all the children, how to love, overcome our own atrocities, and to be able to become better people.    She tried to heal others with her love, her help to overcome, and she tried to prevent any other person from having to endure devastating situations from family members.  She gave some: strength to stand up for themselves, direction to better their situations, support to lessen their pain, passion to persevere in life, and she gave to many that other's deemed "unworthy".  She truly gave so much more. She should be recognized for all that she did and provided.  Those who took part in harming her in any way, may you bow your heads in shame for your sins.  And those who have deceptively harmed her, may you one day pay for your sins.  I learned so much from her and in amazement, am sitting here writing and acknowledging that I am still learning right now because of her. I learned once again from her.  I've learned no matter my age, no matter how much time has passed, always stand up for yourself, apologize, and forgive. I'm doing all three... I'm calling all of you out on your bad behaviors, I'm apologizing to Aunt Sandy for all, and I'm forgiving.  I'm not forgetting and will be cordial and I think that's sufficient enough. Lastly: We all are a product of our childhoods, and the traumas we experience throughout life. Unfortunately saints, like my Aunt Sandy are very rare.  Remember your words, your body language, and actions are responsible for the health and welfare of any and all of the living that come in contact with you.  Will you leave a positive or a negative impact?  Forever in my heart, I'll never forget and always protect, I love you ~Barbara
Barbara Bailey
"The only measure of your words and deeds will be the love left behind when you're gone."                  -Fred Small Who knew when I saved the quote above that my life would have so many different connections with it and how those words would resonate often in such a short span of time.  These reflections, now, particularly have a lot to do with a very special person that I was blessed to have in my life... My Aunt Sandy; but she wasn't just an Aunt and it feels so weird to refer to her as just, "Aunt Sandy".  I never called her Sandra, but I feel compelled to call her that now, but it still doesn't sound right or good enough because she was so much more than a person's name or title could ever relay. She held many titles, daughter, wife, mom, grandma "honey", sister, aunt, caregiver, friend, life coach, teacher, chef/baker, gardener, hostess,  adviser, artist, director of sales, entrepreneur, project manager, beauty consultant, amongst many other positions she held. The one role most might not recognize, which has had the most positive impacts on so many is being a teacher.  She taught many things, especially regarding art, but I'm talking about a different type of teaching.  An education in love, life, support, sacrifice, pain, and healing. I was told a large portion of my Aunt Sandra's story about a year and a half ago from her.  For most of my life I hadn't known the struggles and damages Aunt Sandy had endured during her childhood into her adulthood. The biggest lesson I learned was on that day.  Suffering can move mountains. A child that endured many varied traumatic experiences, took the pain and sacrifice and turned it into love.  She prevailed. I will always credit Aunt Sandy and Uncle Ernie for educating me on being a responsible, honest, protective, loving, and giving person and parent.  I credit them for many of the areas I'm most proud of in regards to my parenting.  Aunt Sandy and Uncle Ernie taught me the importance of showing love and respect and family devotion.  Showing, saying, and committing acts of respect and love.  I learned to hug and kiss my children, tell them I love them, and to talk and inquire about their lives, thoughts, and opinions. I learned how important these things are, their effects on us from birth and throughout our lives. I learned that debate and conflicts were best handled through family discussion after the daily family dinner.  I also learned about chores, hard work,  working together, teaching and learning from each other. Aunt Sandra seemed to be lucky in the way of being the "odd man out" from her traumas and abusive family members.  She was the only one who could possibly pull off the feats she had considering the traumas she's endured in her life.  Most of our family members consisted of parents who weren't the hugging/kissing, I love you type of parents.  They weren't bad parents because of this; that's how they were raised and weren't capable of change. Surviving through all the turmoil she was able to provide and show love to all who were lucky to love her and be a part of her life.  She didn't want one single person to have to go without, feel left out, feel unloved, or go through what she had.   So, she would show and teach them love. Of all the people, I'm sure a lot of them would've never guessed the one they bullied and abused the most, would be the one who would show and teach "us"-all the children, how to love, overcome our own atrocities, and to be able to become better people.    She tried to heal others with her love, her help to overcome, and she tried to prevent any other person from having to endure devastating situations from family members.  She gave some: strength to stand up for themselves, direction to better their situations, support to lessen their pain, passion to persevere in life, and she gave to many that other's deemed "unworthy".  She truly gave so much more. She should be recognized for all that she did and provided.  Those who took part in harming her in any way, may you bow your heads in shame for your sins.  And those who have deceptively harmed her, may you one day pay for your sins.  I learned so much from her and in amazement, am sitting here writing and acknowledging that I am still learning right now because of her. I learned once again from her.  I've learned no matter my age, no matter how much time has passed, always stand up for yourself, apologize, and forgive. I'm doing all three... I'm calling all of you out on your bad behaviors, I'm apologizing to Aunt Sandy for all, and I'm forgiving.  I'm not forgetting and will be cordial and I think that's sufficient enough. Lastly: We all are a product of our childhoods, and the traumas we experience throughout life. Unfortunately saints, like my Aunt Sandy are very rare.  Remember your words, your body language, and actions are responsible for the health and welfare of any and all of the living that come in contact with you.  Will you leave a positive or a negative impact?  Forever in my heart, I'll never forget and always protect, I love you ~Barbara
Barbara Bailey
I would like to extend my heartfelt condolences to the family on the loss of your loved one. May God almighty father of tender mercies and all comfort continue to strengthen you all (2 Corinthians 1: 3, 4). We all indeed look forward to the fulfillment of God's promise to completely remove death, tears, mourning, outcry and pain (Revelation 21:4). The Bible also provides assurance that in God's Kingdom, our dead loved ones will be brought back to life ( John 5:25). May these promises from God bring you comfort. You can also learn further about God's purposes at www.jw.org
Zinne Suji
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